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August 08 2017

dragon-hoard:

I had a dream the other day where I was standing on this platform in a void and a giant sphinx was in front of me about to ask me a riddle and if I answered wrong it would kill me

it asks “what is a human?”

and in my dream my first thought was to that card with “what is a dad” on the front and then “you. you is a dad” inside

so I answer “me. me is a human”

and the sphinx fucking smacked me off the platform

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dulcetflan:

I posted these on FB and Insta but not here yet. My 2B cos came in the mail.

I was scared the bust portion wouldnt fit and that the skirt would be too short, lucky for me I just barely fit and skirt was the perfect length.

Now im just waiting for my boots to come in the mail.

Rebloogin because sometimes i like my facee or how my body looks.

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blackbookalpha:

Kill La Kill’s Ryuko Matoi by Skullgirls creator Alex Ahad (Snapped at APE)

August 07 2017

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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

TRUE LOVE IS NEARLY KILLING URSELF WITH CHILLIS

TO WIN A PLUSH CAT FRIEND FOR UR GIRLFRIEND

BECAUSE U LOVE HER

WITH ALL UR GAY HEART

AND YOU WILL HAVE YOUR MOUTH MELTED BY SPICY NOMS FOR HER HAPPINESS

If I had a dollar for every old person at my job who asks me if I plan on having kids….

My car would probably be here with me in florida by now.

On another note fuck gross ass older men who make lewd, inappropriate comments towards you while youre trying to work. Nasty ass people.

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My son is small, gray, and stupid and likes to wedge himself into boxes CONSTANTLY.

mockingbirdie:

do you ever just sit around and think I’m in my twenties.

If i have to scroll past that stupid “do you love the sky” post for the 9TH TIME TODAY.

Im gonna ground someone. I will.

a-world-without-shrimp:

saturnineaqua:

a-world-without-shrimp:

saturnineaqua:

freshmouthgoddess:

a-world-without-shrimp:

freshmouthgoddess:

dynastylnoire:

a-world-without-shrimp:

dynastylnoire:

alexbelvocal:

dynastylnoire:

a-world-without-shrimp:

badgyal-k:

dynastylnoire:

ladymallyce:

fullten:

gluten-free-pussy:

saturnineaqua:

dynastylnoire:

alexbelvocal:

saturnineaqua:

fullten:

It’s fucked up that a lot of society tells women that they need to have kids in order to have a fulfilling life.

Because then these women have kids, still feel empty, and probably had other dreams or goals, but it’s much harder, or near impossible, to reach now with a kid.

I just see a lot of bitter, mad women who resent their kids, hate their life, regret their decisions, and feel cheated, and no one wins in that scenario.

i turned 31 this year, and this is literally EVERY woman i knew that had kids right out of high school/in their 20′s that i know. 

they thought they were the queen of Sheba in 2007, with their baby showers , but when all that wore off,they suddenly felt like they had nothing. they’d leave super long comments under my travel photos,somehow shoe-horning their kid in as a subject. i watched as it went from “ I wish i could go to Japan! but my babOOOO hasnt been on their first flight yet, much less a 14 hour one!” to “ i wish i could have gone travelling with you back then. it would have been so much fun”. 

they literally went from trying to belittle my child free experiences, to wishing they would have waited and had those experiences themselves.

they went from annoying the ever loving shit out of me because no matter what i posted , theyd make it about their kid, to me feeling terrible for them because now their “cute” baby is damn near ten, and all they do is make post after post talking about how much they missed in life by “growing up too fast” and how they wont let their kid do the same. 

That’s sooo accurate

They post pictures with their kids on FB talking about “come get them”.

I’m the only one of my siblings that didn’t have a kid. They are low key, high key mad I never watch my nieces and nephews.

They forget all that wild shit they said, clowning about me not knowing what to do with a baby.
Werd. Your right. I don’t. Enjoy your kids.

^^^ all this!!!!

looked down on me acting like i was a mutant for not having 4 kids at 19, now anytime i post a pic with a man in it they’re like “DONT HAVE KIDS! JUST ENJOY YOURSELVES!” like calm down. 

Some lady at my job came in with her 3 kids (the oldest was like 12 I think) and she went into the fitting room and sat down and was in there for damn near an hour. I knocked on the door and she was crying. Long story short she basically spilled and said that she’d had them at around 19-20ish and had accomplished absolutely nothing in her life and wished that she’d never had kids but only did it because “she was supposed to”. And now she’s stuck with 3 kids, an ugly husband she doesn’t even love.

Damn

The day I met the man who became my wife people started asking when we were getting married.

People started asking when we planned to start having kids on our wedding day.

Now that we’ve been married 11 years and I’m in my late 30s, the thinly veiled threats have become a normal occurance.

“You know, those eggs aren’t good forever!”

“Don’t you hear that clock ticking?”

“Who will take care of you when you get old?” (My grandmother’s favorite)

“You must be really selfish!”

“What legacy will you leave behind?”

“You just HAVE to want a baby by now!”

“What about (your spouse)? Don’t THEY want a baby?”

“What about your parents? Don’t you think they want grandkids to enjoy?”

“You’ll love them! It’s different when they’re yours!”

Nope. Not happening. I’m 38 and I’ve known I didn’t want kids - that I do not LIKE kids - since I was about 7 years old and begged the adults in my life to please, for the love of god, STOP BUYING ME BABY DOLLS.

I have a wife I love, good friends, and my three dogs. I’m good. This is the life I want. I don’t regret it. There are EIGHT BILLION humans on Earth. I don’t need to make more.

I’m 34 and I kind of want a baby. But the reality of how terrible going through a pregnancy and raising a kid can be really makes me hesitate hard.

My fiance has a 16 year old that is really sweet but passive aggressive/insubordinate. Like you’ll ask her to not take food to her room and she will say ok.

Then a week goes by, you go in her room and there is a stack of paper plates, empty water bottles, and half eaten food all over it. Occasionally she refuses to bathe and at resents being told to clean herself or lies about doing it.

Parenting a kid that refuses to listen to basic instructions is frustrating as hell. Starting with a whole baby while doing that I imagine would be worse.

This is important

Yes, this is important, but as someone who is 39 weeks pregnant and could go into labor any second, I’m tired of reading stuff like this. Moreover, I’m tired of people telling me this to my face. “Your life is going to be over once you have a kid.” That’s very supportive, thanks.

I’m 31 years old, established in my career, and have already traveled the world. I’m also an only child and someday, hopefully a long time from now, but someday my parents will pass away and when that happens, I don’t want to be without a family. There are of course many other reasons why I decided to have a child, but I think “because I want to start a family with my husband whom I love” should be enough of a reason.

Your career and life goals are so important, and I’m so glad I was able to wait to have kids, but I’m tired of people constantly belittling the desire to build a family.

This post wasn’t for you sis.

Why are people like that

I guess she wanted to let us know she was about to give birth.

Congratulations? I hope patenting is what she thinks it will be.

That said, momblr was the appropriate place for a thread she could have started on her own about that.

No, I wanted to let you guys know that there are also moms and moms-to-be, with all the insecurities that come with the decision to become a parent just like any other big life decision, who are reading this let’s-shit-on-women’s-choices-athon and wishing women could just support each other for once instead of offering sarcastic congratulations (congratulations from strangers being completely unnecessary in the first place) and judgment.

If you didn’t want to open up a dialogue among women, then maybe Reddit would have been a better venue.

How do you jump on a post about not wanting to have kids,

try to derail it because you are not happy with folks reasons why they don’t want them

, then try to dictate where we should go?

You can’t gentrify a thread sis

 this woman’s insecurity is showing .. if you were secure in your decisions to have kids .. you would not come to thread about people  who were shamed for not wanting to have them 

You’re right. I wouldn’t come to a thread about people who were shamed for not wanting to have kids, but this is a thread that is shaming women who had kids and then struggled with parenthood afterwards.

No one should judge anyone for their decision to start or not to start a family. That was the only point I was trying to make here. Weird that it’s causing controversy.

yes but these folks are talking about then the same folks resenting them for their children free life ….what is the truth ????  

this post was literally about how society forces young women into motherhood without offering other options, and those women becoming mombies for several years before they realized their life could have been entirely different had they been exposed to things other than Mclaren strollers and swaddlers. 

and now you’re doing the same thing: trying to dictate what women speak about. and you’re doing it out of fear, because misery loves company, and you’ll be damned if a woman has a better shot at living her best life, when you yourself have not. 

you’re reblogs are spitefully trying to control the narrative and discussion of women this effects, and you’re doing EXACTLY what we are all complaining society does. 

and not only is that very pathetic, but with every reblog, you’re making it very very obvious.

What? Where are you even getting this from based on what I have been posting? My very first post was about how fortunate I feel to have been able to have both a fulfilled life and career as well as being able to make the choice to have a child. I have repeatedly voiced my support for women who do not want to have children.

I spoke about this experience, thinking only my small collection of followers would read it. But you all are calling me out on things I haven’t even said and accusing me of derailment for replying?

It sucks that society shames women for not wanting kids.

It also sucks that society shames women who struggle with or dare to complain about parenthood.

I’ve been away from tumblr for months, and this is one of the first threads that popped up on my dash last night, a thread echoing many of the same sentiments I hear from people in my own life, which have been less than supportive.

I understand why you all don’t want moms posting in this thread; honestly, I was not expecting people other than mutuals to actually read what I had written.

You mommyjacked a thread. 

there’s that.

A thread about moms lol.

I think peoples issue was with the “your life is over once you have a kid” comment. Others retaliation means that this post doesnt apply to you and you seem to be very excited about having a kid because youre ready. Its something youve built up to and werent forced into, guilted into, etc. Its a choice that you consciously made to have a kid after you were eatablished and ready. A lot of people end up with a kid and are not ready to handle it or they regret it because they felt it was a society norm and skipped out on all the things they wanted to do to fulfil this.

Nobodies saying the desire to build a family is a bad thing in this threads case. OPs post plus the add ons from others were just venting because its the constant hawking from others asking “when are you going to have kids” “haha dont worry youll change your mind later and want kids” comments that are a thrumming CONSTANT from family to total strangers. I feel it can get a little aggressive from both sides though (people who have kids vs people who dont want them) when venting.

I DOOOO HOWEVER get where you were coming from (i reread your initial post like 4 times trying to understand you), seen both sides. Some people get very “HAHA your lifes gonna be over for the next 18+ years because youre having a kid BYE.” its a comment I find comes A LOT from friends who dont have kids or dont plan too. Society feels you need to have kids but sometimes those who DONT want them like to be an asshole too.

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fluffysheeps:

my precious squid Hubba Bubba ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

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snaxattacks:

Our spawn point got no business looking like this

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gallusrostromegalus:

After two hours of rude language, emotional manipulation, espionage and face kicking; the dogs have reached an armistace over the tennis ball.

August 06 2017

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secretie:

“And who cares if I’m coming back alive?
So what? ‘Least I have the strength to fight” ~ Florence and the Machine

Prints

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menxisan:

Oh same

hoplocats:

what she says: im fine

what she means: i cant stop thinking about that penguins of madagascar episode where kowalski makes a time machine and then goes back in time to stop himself from making a time machine then goes back in time again to stop himself from stopping himself from making a time machine and then the time machine stsrts ripping apart the fabric of reality ad everythjngs getting sucked into this huge hole in the fabric of reality and kowalskis just like “yeah the universe is bejng destroyed were all gonna die” and rico picks up the time machine itself and throws it into the rift in time caused by the time macine and that f i x e s the p r o b l e m and kowalskis  like “that,, , ,  shouldnt have worked” and skipper just says “its rico . he makes his own rules”

June 27 2017

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With the rise of self driving vehicles, eventually there WILL be a country song about how your truck left you too.

robotmango:

awed-frog:

robotmango:

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

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